Friday, June 22, 2012

Salute to Ammachi

In the month of June, every year, I wish to go back to Kerala due to the



unbearable heat in Delhi. My secret agenda  had Ammachi's cuisines. This year too. It so happened that I had to rush to Kerala on an emergency call.


My mother in law – Ammachi for all of us - was an adorable person. Mother of Six


children, she was a great cook, a farmer, a home maker, above all a good


host. Till the last moment of her lively tenure, she lived for others. Her


children and grand-children. Last time she had gone to the nearby Mother


Mary’s chapel to light candles for ‘Sonu’ her much loved grand-son. She did


not light the candle, she fell down before Mother Mary’s statue, a place


she has been visiting for the past 50 years or so. She broke her hip bone,


was taken to Hospital in Quilon, where she was operated upon, metallic


supports were inserted into her pelvic area. All in vain. She did not


stand up again. We reached in time to see her alive. Lying on a cot, unable to lift


herself, suffering in pain, but yet,  in full of life,  enthused on a good music tapping the


mat with her frail palm at times, making us all break in to laughter, in tears. Least she showed her agony to others,like Bhishma on the “Shara -Shaiyya” she suffered with a smile. Like a sage in the indian mythology or history, she took her own life. Ever since she was hospitalized, she abstained herself taking solid food. As days passed, she restricted her intakes to a spoonful of water only. She committed a willful “Atma Thyaag”.


As in life, It was a fight to the end.On June 12th our beloved Ammachi passed away. Mrs. Mariamma Kurien, went along with her ancestors, to rest in peace.

We could not return what she had give us. We Salute her.







Sunday, April 22, 2012

The not so pleasant stories appearing in the media these days tell us the lives of some colourless living beings, anglicised by the name “maid”. These stories also bring to book the true colours of some of the colour-conscious households which employ these under-aged, undernourished, under literate, and under poverty line young girls, who move by flock from villages to big cities in search of two time meals and a cotton saree to cover, perhaps. The shining Indians show kindness in keeping them at home, give them two time ‘roti’, used -old cloths (invariably larger than size) to wear for waking up early in the morning, washing few utensils, a few daily wears of the household, preparing meals for the whole family, besides looking after kids and be a watch dog of the house.


They are also provided with a shelter to sleep in the night( a store, besides the kennel or kitchen back room) The Shining India’s highly ‘literate’ masters also occasionally take the maid for “outing’ when the entire ‘master’ household is set on a dine out. There also the ‘maid’ will accompany the masters with their baby in the cart, and sit at the corner of the place looking after the toddler, her face to the opposite till the masters finish their meals.

For all these and more the maids occasionally are put under discipline drill by pulling their hair, burning their body parts, beating, many a time by the kids of the family for fun and pleasure. Cases of rape is not un-heard. Media stories are umpteen for you to believe.

Neha Afreem was born to a Bangalore couple three months ago. She died recently. The cause of the death was due to torture meted out by her own father. Report of children even toddlers raped and killed all over the country.

The story of hapless innocent Neha Afreem gave me a thought. It may not have happened in any of our families… Many of you girls are lucky to have caring parents and relatives. Beasts like Afreem who fathered Neha are still around and kicking. Birth of a Girl is a sad story in the Indian Continent.

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Oh! My God! It’s a girl

(A mini Story by M.M. Mathew)

While swimming in the water in the limited territory of her mother’s womb, she got her first shock when her Grandma was heard making a prayer, to the Alimighty.

“Oh God, My Lord, let me have a grandson”

Grandma also offered a bribe to God for gifting her with a grandson only.

Gee Maa.. you will certainly have a grandson, after all, what use to all your prayers and your offerings to God ? Is HE blind, No, not at all”- Her father, instilled confidence in Grand-Ma.

This was reason for a double shock as she heard her father supporting his mother. She was actually looking forward to the day when her dear father would jump with joy at the time of her arrival. But Nine months and Nine days , Nine hours and that many minutes and seconds, she craved to hear anyone making a prayer for a her. Bribing the Good God for A Girl Child. They prayed, wished and longed for the arrival of a boy, a BOY only.

She did not want to come out of the shell she was placed, with her inferior identity, she knew for sure that her existence will not be welcomed.

She now look up to her mother, who, for sure, would be the happiest person in the world when she actually put her foot down.

The D-day.

She wished she could stay on.

But despite her wish, she could no longer hold on to her egg shells.

Crying, shivering, as though frightened to be caught she slowly slid out of the shell.

Alas ! Heaven fell … Volcano erupted…storm, thunder, lightning and rain….

Grand Ma beat her forehead and repeated on her chest with both hands,

Severely weeping, blaming God for cheating on her, for being ungrateful.

And her mother

Mother, lied beside her bearing a blank pale and sad look as though she committed a deadly sin.

Relatives soothed her father…

No matter “Lakshmi Ghar Aye he…. Next one will be certainly a BOY”…. They ate Burfi and vanished.

A few years after.

Her mother gave birth to her second child, a BOY.

She saw her Grandmother distributing sweets to her friends and relatives..

Surprised … Grandma was dancing and yelling at others with joy - I have a Grandson born. After all, God listened, God is not blind.

They told her he was her brother.

She grew in the midst of Do’s and Don’ts particularly set for her

She was taught, cursed and scolded for

Sitting, standing, racing, singing, laughing, the wrong way

She was not allowed to wear clothes of her liking…. She was given food after her father and brother ate….

Le me sum up the story….

We wrote a rule book for HER.







Thursday, March 29, 2012

MOM &MAGGI

Mom & Maggi

That was a week-end off-day.
Mom was showing signs of fatigue.
Why not?
She has been working like a non-stop machine all the time.
Though they were seeing her from day Zero but of late knew it for sure that
Mom’s style of work is the cause of her weakness.
She needs better managerial skill and health consciousness.
Children always advise her to take care of her health, but she finds no
time for the same.
She shut her ears to all their advises all the time.
Children got worked up. Their valuable advises were turning to vapours as
if poured on a hot pot kept upside down.
So, on the week-end off-day, they decided to teach Mom some basics.
They decided to show her how to manage home with minimum stress and maximum
results.
After all, they were taught of time management, space management, stress
management etc. etc. and “why not” put them to use at home also.
They also studied to face work with a smile and enjoy it.
Children took the task of home management on their shoulders, for a day.

Mom’ enjoy a day’s off.

They decided to share work, you broom, I mop;
You wash rice; mix dough; I cut vegetables, boil milk;
You make break-fast; I make lunch and we together prepare dinner – exactly
as Mom does.
You wash utensils; I clean table, spread bed cover, dust sofa, side tables,
glass panes;
You put clothes in the W/M; I rinse, you spread, I press.
All work decided, to share and there they both set out for work.

The beginning was great, started with morning Coffee, then breakfast – of
course toast & butter – time is important.

Broomed all the rooms… mopping followed… But it took little time –
inexperience, after all – with time things will speed up …

Washing clothes took a good long time, rinsing made hands burnt, reddish…
It’s OK!
It was almost time for lunch. They decided to make ‘Kitchadi” – A quickremedy - All in one, very healthy, with Achar (mom’s own yummy item).
Lunch finished, utensils to be cleaned, clothes yet to be rinsed, spread
and later pressed. Children needed a quick nap… Before that they decided
the dinner.
We will have “Maggi” for dinner.



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You can read my blog : http://mathewsponderings.blogspot.in






















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Sunday, March 18, 2012

Travencore Syrian Christian Succession Act - A salute to Mary Roy

As an an LIC agent I contacted a subscriber who wished to propose a policy. Well, being an Agent myself, I provided her with all the necessary advises, documents to sign and explained to her the merits and demerits of a Life Insurance. She wanted the insurance be made on her Son’s life.
Well I did exactly as she wanted.
Exactly like an enthusiastic LIC adviser, I knew the Lady also has a daughter, elder to the son and I wanted her life too got insured. She declined saying “ No, Mathew ji, she has, in any way, to be married off soon” .
What she meant, as I could guess, was that the daughter will be sent off with a dowry, a bargain will take place later on and the amount will be fixed and the girl will be sent off. Any other investment on her will be futile.
The person whom I was interacting with is a professional and learned Lady, a mother, a wife and before that she was a daughter too. This is the attitude even educated persons hold for a girl child. That too from a member of a Syrian Christian clan, for whose girls’ rights, Mary Roy fought for twenty five long years from a Magistrate Court in Kottayam to the Supreme Court of India to gain this legitimate right of the Christian girl to have equal share of her ancestral property. The Court verdict made history. The 200 odd year old Travencore Christian Succession Act was changed to include the girl child for equal right in her parental property. A fundamental right, every other Indian is guaranteed with, but the Syrian Christian women. You know what, A girl in the Syrian Christian family- prior to the verdict- was entitled for a mere 5000 Rupees or land or property worth not exceeding this amount, come what may be the property of the family. Though, the verdict had changed the law, the mindset is still rampant in the Christian Community, who preserve their wealth for the boy. Mary Roy is the founder Principal of “Copper Christi” now known as “Pallikoodam”, she also may be, if necessary, addressed as mother of Arundhati Roy “ the creator of “God of small things”.

I know a Lady, who is also one of my best friends, who gave up her marriage to take up the responsibility of her ageing mother and ill-employed brothers. I also has a person in my life, who is a very ardent critic of mine, much more than a best friend, cool-ly telling ‘boys to be’ that her parents are her responsibility and watch them vanish.

Monday, February 20, 2012

Why Not Quit

Being Swapna’s B’day, 17th Feb, as usual, a family outing and dine together. We assembled from two directions at 2.00 past at Essex Farms, a place we used to go from days as back as Swap and Lizu were a little bigger than Chakku. This time the food was not worth its money. As can be expected, u know !
That’s OK. But I have made a resolution that day, “I will not dine in a Restaurant of that sort, henceforth, for a different reason.
While we were busy with the stuff served, there came a family stylishly attired women and men. They were five of them. One of the women was also mother of a baby. The Baby was being carried by a teenager, who, I suppose, may not be over 12. The girl was shabbily attired, looked frightened and confused. Soon the ‘Malikin’ mother took the Baby and lead the carrier girl to the green lawns outside the restaurant for her to wait until they finish their ‘cosy’ meals.
On the way out we saw the baby sitter sitting and munching a roll of dry Chappatis which may be a left over of previous night. I was wondering, why the woman offer the ‘baby sitter’ a child herself, the food she eats. The lady wants her little one be looked after by the teenager at her best attention and without any harm and discomfort to her child. On the other hand, she refuse the other person, a child herself, the basic right to food, cloth and a human dignity. I may not have explained it in its severety owing to my constraint with the language.
It pained me, irritated me, and saddened me. I wanted to call the dining family and ask them to behave. I also wanted the ‘child labour’ issue be brought up before the police. I could’nt do anything. For reason that my family will not support me for sucha an act, they would yell at me asking me to mind my own business, not to spoil their moments of fun. That way, I am sure, lakhs of poor children are treated brutally every where, and will continue so unabated so long poverty prevails in the ‘shining India’.
I have decided, I will not dine in a food joint where a poor child will be kept out starving or with a roll of ‘sookha’ roti. Also it is a sheer waste. Why not quit !

Friday, January 6, 2012

A Christmas Souvenir
A travelogue is not what I am planning to put down under. This is only a narration of a refreshing experience. Essentially not in sequence.
Duronto Express safely landed us in Ernakulam on 19th December 2011. Pemkumar, Pinchoo and Namita came to receive us at the Ernakulam Junction. After communications with Thomas Francis [1]and tea we set out for the unfinished flat at Kakanad. No, the day did n’t end with that, in between ,we made a side trip up to ‘Jayalakshmi’ from where Swap picked up some silk and cotton sarees and Baby emptied my valet for two maxis. That evening was superb with French Brandy and Vat69 Super-cop treat, to the yummy l Talassery delicacy Star Aappam and fish Moily. A wonderful evening indeed.
Leaving Chakku and family to the pleasure of his grandpa & grandma (Achachan and Achamma) and his Gorgeous, EverGreen Great- Grandpa, the next morning, we headed for Destination next, we boarded a train to Varkala, a small coastal town, now a world famous tourist attraction, midway Kollam and Trivandrum. The environment in a train in Kerala is quite enviable, particularly, if you happened to travel in the North. The journey was a joy, despite our ongoing arguments on silly matters quite normal between us. I had a temptation to get down at Kottayam once the train reached Ettumanoor. My Kudamaloor is an arm’s-length from Kumaranallur. But, for the first time in forty one years I suppressed my temptation and passed by my home town without embarking there. Notably it was also my first train journey down South of Kottayam.
We had no idea about the place and the facilities awaiting us there. Nitin’s friend Rajesh, who is the General Manager of ‘Krishna Theeram’ came personally at the Varkala Railway Station to receive us. But on landing, not even for a moment, we felt out of place. Nitin had arranged accommodation in “Krishna Theeram”, a resort with clusters of moderately furnished huts spread across a sprawling land. Facing the sea, our one room hut opened to the horizon of the blue seas. On seeing the vast sea in front of us we all immediately transformed ourselves in to the Richard Brandson mode. There are ‘hammocks’ tied to Coconut Palms to hang on and swing. The absence of a TV in the room scarcely perturbed our moments. The very first evening itself we took time out to ascend the cliff top through the un-tarred, neatly laid walk- way where make shift shops of tourist attractions on one side and the vast Arabian sea waves break and splinter on the rocks down the bottom of the cliff. As sun set in the west, Diwali like illuminations appeared in the western horizon, which we learnt is that of numerous fishing boats out in the sea for their catch. The ‘Dhabas’ run by North Easterners offered variety of fresh fish displayed for tourists to get it cooked to order. We had a portion of salmon, four squids, four tiger prawns and six silver prawns got roasted with a bottle of beer each. That was the third evening.
The mornings of 21st and 22nd were spent at Ayurvedic clinic for a refreshing oil massage . Swapna was found lost in the mornings and evenings playing with and between the waves. Baby and me too joined her one evening to get beaten and wet by the waves. We also went upto the fisher men’ s cove close to the beach in the morning where silvery fishes still fluttering were being plucked out of the net. The two beaches, one a private one for tourists near “Krishna Theeram” and the wider “Papanasam” beach, both had big crowds of the global community floating, merry making in the loud splashing waves of Arabian Sea, come what time of the day. The white men and women flocked to the shores to get wet in the salty water and lie almost bare from top to bottom in the sand in order to get a sun bath. Though very challenging moments were before me to keep my eyes out of the robe-less women from far away countries, it was commendable on the part of these people who bare and dare the waves of The Arabian sea and immerse into it as if they are on a game of football back home. Children also joined them swimming, floating and cutting through the waves and none of them ever seen with an iota of shyness in appearing in the outfit they felt comfortable with. This attitude may perhaps, be the reason that they are ahead of us in many areas.
After a refurbishing three nights and four days in the shores of Varka, we left for Punalur. We had the lavish Christmas lunch and dinner a day in advance. In the evening, we went out to the Punalur town to have a glimpse of the stunning - Punalur Hanging bridge –(thookkupalam in local dialet). I took a few snaps of the engineering marvel. Swap was uncomfortable of the glances shot from the Punalur locals for whom any one differently dressed is a curiosity. I got a nice dressing which swirled away with buff curry and fish in the brandy the evening.
24th morning we headed to Kottayam, Chakku and family had already landed in Punalur by late night on 23rd. At Changanassery, there was a diversion for a by-pass to Kottayam, but finding the by-pass not very smooth, took a short cut to reach the MC road again and at Kodimatha we halted for lunch at Windsor Castle, a new luxury hotel built on the Kodimathat Chira, They offered Buffet lunch with duck mappas, meen karri, buff and pork, kappa, appam, rice and other veg items at a price of four hundred chips per person. Then, there was a halt see Mother. My mother and Mother Mary at Kudamaloor Church. Chakku and all of us had a few snaps with Ammachi (available in face book).
Back to Ernakulam, we rested at YMCA- a dry place. On the morning of Christmas we had a Buffet B/F from Abad, then set out for the Vallarpadam shrine of Mother Mary, a long time cherish accomplished. Then we headed to see the Dutch Palace, now ITDC’s ‘Bolghaty Palace’ where we had coffee, courtesy Nitin’s friend Aneesh. Aneesh arranged a speed boat in which we made a voyage in the back waters of Kochi. An hour sailing in the Vembanad Kayal, till the mouth of the sea, we had glimpses of Ernakulam Town, Kochi, Wellington Island, Vypin Island, an Entering Ship, another ship offloading at the Port. No matter, the trip was a really brilliant idea and paid off well. (Snaps were taken, available in face book.)
Evening, we checked out of YMCA and boarded a train to Trichur for attending the Baptism of Thomas Francis. We were put in the “Regency Club” where “Pranchiyettan” the famous Mammootty film was shot. That evening with Royal stag, pork and chicken we concluded Christmas of 2011 in Poolside of Regency.
26th was the Baptism. At the ‘ Nadathara’ St. Mary’s Church Thomas Francis was sacramented to enter the Holy sea, the Kingdom of the Roman Catholic Church. Priest in his sermon, pronounced, Thomas Francis having undergone three sacraments, knowing well of Baptism, but unclear of the other two, though vaguely heard – Confirmation – a sacrament, normally applies after Communion and Confession, unheard till then, tradition may have changed, we kept on wondering and arguing about the additional two sacraments. Anyways our confusion vanished with the lovely lunch rich with Pork, Buff, Chicken fry, fish curry and variety of other veg items and ice-creams.
After lunch Baby and me checked out of ‘Regency’ for Ernakulam for another stint with the YMCA and the next day of 27th to fly back to Delhi by Jetlite. Our 26th December dinner at the famous ‘Grant’ was not so grant. Chakku & Co arrived by Air India Maharaja, carelessly losing a packet of carefully packed ‘Palaharams’ somewhere en-route, arrived late in the night. Soon it was New year with a bang!


[1] Thomas Francis, a Australian National, would be getting Baptised on 26th December at his Ammachi’s abode .
A Christmas Souvenir
A travelogue is not what I am planning to put down under. This is only a narration of a refreshing experience. Essentially not in sequence.
Duronto Express safely landed us in Ernakulam on 19th December 2011. Pemkumar, Pinchoo and Namita came to receive us at the Ernakulam Junction. After communications with Thomas Francis [1]and tea we set out for the unfinished flat at Kakanad. No, the day did n’t end with that, in between ,we made a side trip up to ‘Jayalakshmi’ from where Swap picked up some silk and cotton sarees and Baby emptied my valet for two maxis. That evening was superb with French Brandy and Vat69 Super-cop treat, to the yummy l Talassery delicacy Star Aappam and fish Moily. A wonderful evening indeed.
Leaving Chakku and family to the pleasure of his grandpa & grandma (Achachan and Achamma) and his Gorgeous, EverGreen Great- Grandpa, the next morning, we headed for Destination next, we boarded a train to Varkala, a small coastal town, now a world famous tourist attraction, midway Kollam and Trivandrum. The environment in a train in Kerala is quite enviable, particularly, if you happened to travel in the North. The journey was a joy, despite our ongoing arguments on silly matters quite normal between us. I had a temptation to get down at Kottayam once the train reached Ettumanoor. My Kudamaloor is an arm’s-length from Kumaranallur. But, for the first time in forty one years I suppressed my temptation and passed by my home town without embarking there. Notably it was also my first train journey down South of Kottayam.
We had no idea about the place and the facilities awaiting us there. Nitin’s friend Rajesh, who is the General Manager of ‘Krishna Theeram’ came personally at the Varkala Railway Station to receive us. But on landing, not even for a moment, we felt out of place. Nitin had arranged accommodation in “Krishna Theeram”, a resort with clusters of moderately furnished huts spread across a sprawling land. Facing the sea, our one room hut opened to the horizon of the blue seas. On seeing the vast sea in front of us we all immediately transformed ourselves in to the Richard Brandson mode. There are ‘hammocks’ tied to Coconut Palms to hang on and swing. The absence of a TV in the room scarcely perturbed our moments. The very first evening itself we took time out to ascend the cliff top through the un-tarred, neatly laid walk- way where make shift shops of tourist attractions on one side and the vast Arabian sea waves break and splinter on the rocks down the bottom of the cliff. As sun set in the west, Diwali like illuminations appeared in the western horizon, which we learnt is that of numerous fishing boats out in the sea for their catch. The ‘Dhabas’ run by North Easterners offered variety of fresh fish displayed for tourists to get it cooked to order. We had a portion of salmon, four squids, four tiger prawns and six silver prawns got roasted with a bottle of beer each. That was the third evening.
The mornings of 21st and 22nd were spent at Ayurvedic clinic for a refreshing oil massage . Swapna was found lost in the mornings and evenings playing with and between the waves. Baby and me too joined her one evening to get beaten and wet by the waves. We also went upto the fisher men’ s cove close to the beach in the morning where silvery fishes still fluttering were being plucked out of the net. The two beaches, one a private one for tourists near “Krishna Theeram” and the wider “Papanasam” beach, both had big crowds of the global community floating, merry making in the loud splashing waves of Arabian Sea, come what time of the day. The white men and women flocked to the shores to get wet in the salty water and lie almost bare from top to bottom in the sand in order to get a sun bath. Though very challenging moments were before me to keep my eyes out of the robe-less women from far away countries, it was commendable on the part of these people who bare and dare the waves of The Arabian sea and immerse into it as if they are on a game of football back home. Children also joined them swimming, floating and cutting through the waves and none of them ever seen with an iota of shyness in appearing in the outfit they felt comfortable with. This attitude may perhaps, be the reason that they are ahead of us in many areas.
After a refurbishing three nights and four days in the shores of Varka, we left for Punalur. We had the lavish Christmas lunch and dinner a day in advance. In the evening, we went out to the Punalur town to have a glimpse of the stunning - Punalur Hanging bridge –(thookkupalam in local dialet). I took a few snaps of the engineering marvel. Swap was uncomfortable of the glances shot from the Punalur locals for whom any one differently dressed is a curiosity. I got a nice dressing which swirled away with buff curry and fish in the brandy the evening.
24th morning we headed to Kottayam, Chakku and family had already landed in Punalur by late night on 23rd. At Changanassery, there was a diversion for a by-pass to Kottayam, but finding the by-pass not very smooth, took a short cut to reach the MC road again and at Kodimatha we halted for lunch at Windsor Castle, a new luxury hotel built on the Kodimathat Chira, They offered Buffet lunch with duck mappas, meen karri, buff and pork, kappa, appam, rice and other veg items at a price of four hundred chips per person. Then, there was a halt see Mother. My mother and Mother Mary at Kudamaloor Church. Chakku and all of us had a few snaps with Ammachi (available in face book).
Back to Ernakulam, we rested at YMCA- a dry place. On the morning of Christmas we had a Buffet B/F from Abad, then set out for the Vallarpadam shrine of Mother Mary, a long time cherish accomplished. Then we headed to see the Dutch Palace, now ITDC’s ‘Bolghaty Palace’ where we had coffee, courtesy Nitin’s friend Aneesh. Aneesh arranged a speed boat in which we made a voyage in the back waters of Kochi. An hour sailing in the Vembanad Kayal, till the mouth of the sea, we had glimpses of Ernakulam Town, Kochi, Wellington Island, Vypin Island, an Entering Ship, another ship offloading at the Port. No matter, the trip was a really brilliant idea and paid off well. (Snaps were taken, available in face book.)
Evening, we checked out of YMCA and boarded a train to Trichur for attending the Baptism of Thomas Francis. We were put in the “Regency Club” where “Pranchiyettan” the famous Mammootty film was shot. That evening with Royal stag, pork and chicken we concluded Christmas of 2011 in Poolside of Regency.
26th was the Baptism. At the ‘ Nadathara’ St. Mary’s Church Thomas Francis was sacramented to enter the Holy sea, the Kingdom of the Roman Catholic Church. Priest in his sermon, pronounced, Thomas Francis having undergone three sacraments, knowing well of Baptism, but unclear of the other two, though vaguely heard – Confirmation – a sacrament, normally applies after Communion and Confession, unheard till then, tradition may have changed, we kept on wondering and arguing about the additional two sacraments. Anyways our confusion vanished with the lovely lunch rich with Pork, Buff, Chicken fry, fish curry and variety of other veg items and ice-creams.
After lunch Baby and me checked out of ‘Regency’ for Ernakulam for another stint with the YMCA and the next day of 27th to fly back to Delhi by Jetlite. Our 26th December dinner at the famous ‘Grant’ was not so grant. Chakku & Co arrived by Air India Maharaja, carelessly losing a packet of carefully packed ‘Palaharams’ somewhere en-route, arrived late in the night. Soon it was New year with a bang!


[1] Thomas Francis, a Australian National, would be getting Baptised on 26th December at his Ammachi’s abode .