Another Christmas eve, my 59th.
It takes me back to 1960s…
I look upon the DAY … for the thrill in the star making. The Budget for my dream star… four annas (I deliberately don’t want to convert this currency) I buy different shades of thin papers. Take out a row bamboo stick, peel it into 10 long sticks, bind it to the shape of a star, then with the paste made out of home made ‘chor’ we (my siblings allowed to help) paste the thin paper. The next step is to find a light… a tin lamp with kerosene and wick is laid on the platform inside the bamboo..Then raise it on the branch of our Mango tree…..
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Victims of Truth
Mahatma, I believe, had not said Do not tell a lie; instead he stood for truth (debatable).
Is it really easy, safe, pleasant...
Experience and history hold it otherwise. Whenever I have tried to tell the truth, I have found frowning, wispering, anger ,rage..fear...
Perhaps this could be a reason, I have least number of friends; My experiment with truth.. yet better.. compared to Mahatma who had to pay with his life for his experimentation.
The list of victims of the truth goes with Jesus, John, Mahatma, all famous, glorified martyrs... in the history. But there are suffocating office clerks,chocking with truth, living, dead and will be living ... in the corridors of power.
Is it really easy, safe, pleasant...
Experience and history hold it otherwise. Whenever I have tried to tell the truth, I have found frowning, wispering, anger ,rage..fear...
Perhaps this could be a reason, I have least number of friends; My experiment with truth.. yet better.. compared to Mahatma who had to pay with his life for his experimentation.
The list of victims of the truth goes with Jesus, John, Mahatma, all famous, glorified martyrs... in the history. But there are suffocating office clerks,chocking with truth, living, dead and will be living ... in the corridors of power.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Pleasure of Boss !!!
These days I am repeatedly being upset over the behaviour of my superiors...
The present superiors (TERI Admn) gave me a formula for efficacy, i.e. 40% work and 60% pleasure of boss… Wah ! If the boss is not pleased your job will be in peril. So the Coy is paying me for making my boss pleased. Many in TERI has already adopted to this mode. I don’t know if it will be right on my part to switch on to this formula formation to save my job, an act alien to me till now. The boss today found fault in a colleague (Lady secretary) for she normally comes at 9.30 a.m. and leaves at 5.30 p.m., the official office timing. He likes people hang around after 5.30 till the pleasure of the boss.
I miss my superiors in Metal Box, Prof Shadi Lal and Mrs. N Kapoor of DPS, Mr. Bakshi of Pragyan… Why? They never ever told me that my efficiency should not be in the work, but in pleasing the boss. Because they cared for the value of work… It was never my job to please the boss, if they are pleased by my job, so far so good.
Any how, values and views are changing... in fact have already changed.
The present superiors (TERI Admn) gave me a formula for efficacy, i.e. 40% work and 60% pleasure of boss… Wah ! If the boss is not pleased your job will be in peril. So the Coy is paying me for making my boss pleased. Many in TERI has already adopted to this mode. I don’t know if it will be right on my part to switch on to this formula formation to save my job, an act alien to me till now. The boss today found fault in a colleague (Lady secretary) for she normally comes at 9.30 a.m. and leaves at 5.30 p.m., the official office timing. He likes people hang around after 5.30 till the pleasure of the boss.
I miss my superiors in Metal Box, Prof Shadi Lal and Mrs. N Kapoor of DPS, Mr. Bakshi of Pragyan… Why? They never ever told me that my efficiency should not be in the work, but in pleasing the boss. Because they cared for the value of work… It was never my job to please the boss, if they are pleased by my job, so far so good.
Any how, values and views are changing... in fact have already changed.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Hail Mary... 53 times....
Yesterday we visited MV-III had lunch with Akoli, thilopea, thakkali kari, moru kari and ka thoran.
Morning my nokia shown a ‘not charging’ sign, took it to the hotshot shop. Had a few exchanges hot hot hot…. Evening at home the mobile charged… cool… I just had opened the back door and took out the battery and put it back… well I could have done it in the morning and saved some energy….
Evening Rosary meetings was attended w/o break for the fifth day. Repeated prayers make it monotonous…yet the prayers lead me to my twenty’s… revisited. Some body mentioned, the Father’s dislike about people married outside taking communion…. Was it aimed at Liz… It was mentioned… he was mentioning about Garima garden… though it didn’t go well with me…. Babe was not told… If mentioned, she might stop going for the ‘kontha’…. which she says not at all inspiring… the only exciting thing is the evening break.
My present job relates to what I have done in 1977… only difference being the money….
Abdominal photograph (ultrasound) revealed nothing significant, though a suspected enlargement of liver, to justify the money taken. Medicine suggested… not yet started.
Father, during the sermon, narrated a story. A young boy was naughty enough to throw tantrums to save himself from the holy mass. So his mother confined him in the confession box and told him to be there till she calls him out. That Sunday’ reading was based on the death and resurrection of Lazar. Jesus once called Maria’s brother … Lazar come out….. The boy in the confession box stirred… but his mother kept her finger on her lips and denied him freedom… Jesus again called the dead man– to come out of the coffin alive…This time too the boy wanted to jump out of the box… but the cautious mother stopped him…. Third time Father called up in Jesus’ voice “ Lazer, I command you to come out from the box…. This time the young Lazer could not resist but yelled from his confinement… but father……….. My Mom does’t want me to be out before the mass… what to do………….(His name was also Lazar…)
Morning my nokia shown a ‘not charging’ sign, took it to the hotshot shop. Had a few exchanges hot hot hot…. Evening at home the mobile charged… cool… I just had opened the back door and took out the battery and put it back… well I could have done it in the morning and saved some energy….
Evening Rosary meetings was attended w/o break for the fifth day. Repeated prayers make it monotonous…yet the prayers lead me to my twenty’s… revisited. Some body mentioned, the Father’s dislike about people married outside taking communion…. Was it aimed at Liz… It was mentioned… he was mentioning about Garima garden… though it didn’t go well with me…. Babe was not told… If mentioned, she might stop going for the ‘kontha’…. which she says not at all inspiring… the only exciting thing is the evening break.
My present job relates to what I have done in 1977… only difference being the money….
Abdominal photograph (ultrasound) revealed nothing significant, though a suspected enlargement of liver, to justify the money taken. Medicine suggested… not yet started.
Father, during the sermon, narrated a story. A young boy was naughty enough to throw tantrums to save himself from the holy mass. So his mother confined him in the confession box and told him to be there till she calls him out. That Sunday’ reading was based on the death and resurrection of Lazar. Jesus once called Maria’s brother … Lazar come out….. The boy in the confession box stirred… but his mother kept her finger on her lips and denied him freedom… Jesus again called the dead man– to come out of the coffin alive…This time too the boy wanted to jump out of the box… but the cautious mother stopped him…. Third time Father called up in Jesus’ voice “ Lazer, I command you to come out from the box…. This time the young Lazer could not resist but yelled from his confinement… but father……….. My Mom does’t want me to be out before the mass… what to do………….(His name was also Lazar…)
Friday, October 23, 2009
Fifty nine to Sixty
What a waste, I am angry, I am writing the entire thoughts for the second... fff......... the language...
OK cool......
Ha ! I wrote that I am walking to sweet sixty on 4th March 2010. Wow, I lived 38 long years in Delhi and its satellites. Only 22 in Kerala.(don't read I have split the peiord to look young) Yet I call my self a Keralite... Never a Delhiite.I thought of writing a novel clubbing my experience in 1970s and the Delhi now.I tied once. I did'nt like it for it has no life. I tore the note book. That reminds me I tried a few business venutes.I torn them too. I lack two Bs 'Bhasha' and 'Bhavana' what else is required for a work of art. I quit. Not my 'thattakam'
Oh I forgot this blog is after a considerable gap of months.
By the way I am turning 60 soon. The RTV almost reshaped my spines, it costed me 6k to get a photograph of my 32 vertebraes of which one portrude as if attempting to jump the Q. No matter, Babe is worried, gallied the Doc fellow for he has not suggested ultrasound for my tummy, which he now did. Another big K. OK TATA takes care.
Back to my Busns ventr, Babe fumed occassionally to ward me off my attempts. Swap gave up. Liz still attmept to advise. Lady she is, agfter all. Swap says (thru her blog), she is tyred of the monotonous daily chorus. She fumes at (with a change of gear) me when I utter a similar course for me. What a contrast. Liz is busy in Ramswaram to 100 dip in the Holy sea.
OK cool......
Ha ! I wrote that I am walking to sweet sixty on 4th March 2010. Wow, I lived 38 long years in Delhi and its satellites. Only 22 in Kerala.(don't read I have split the peiord to look young) Yet I call my self a Keralite... Never a Delhiite.I thought of writing a novel clubbing my experience in 1970s and the Delhi now.I tied once. I did'nt like it for it has no life. I tore the note book. That reminds me I tried a few business venutes.I torn them too. I lack two Bs 'Bhasha' and 'Bhavana' what else is required for a work of art. I quit. Not my 'thattakam'
Oh I forgot this blog is after a considerable gap of months.
By the way I am turning 60 soon. The RTV almost reshaped my spines, it costed me 6k to get a photograph of my 32 vertebraes of which one portrude as if attempting to jump the Q. No matter, Babe is worried, gallied the Doc fellow for he has not suggested ultrasound for my tummy, which he now did. Another big K. OK TATA takes care.
Back to my Busns ventr, Babe fumed occassionally to ward me off my attempts. Swap gave up. Liz still attmept to advise. Lady she is, agfter all. Swap says (thru her blog), she is tyred of the monotonous daily chorus. She fumes at (with a change of gear) me when I utter a similar course for me. What a contrast. Liz is busy in Ramswaram to 100 dip in the Holy sea.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Christmas 2008 has also passed . At home no star was hanged - a frist in perhaps 30 years. No plum cake made- perhaps a first in 25 years... A christmas night booz and dance was there.. first time of its kind.
Jesus' birth is being celeberated on 25th December every year. Even the church differ in confirming the date as exact. Many who celeberate Christmas do not know what exactly the day is. For them it is a merry making day to beat the winter.
But besides the controversy of his date of birth, Jesus dwell in the minds of people who believe in him as God and who love him as one of most acclaimed men. To me he is an enigma. He answers many of my queries... but I am yet to get answers to a multiple of my other anxieties. I believe, he has fairly given me everything that I have... I also truly believe that he pulled me back from many of my falls. But for him, I confess, I would have managed myself worse. The carismatic group insists that we only believe in what is said glossy about him. According to them criticising Him is a big SIN. 'You should be GOD fearing', is what they profess. This thought may have derived from our age old partriarchial system where obedience is the doctrine. The family partriarch is always right, nobody has the authority to question what he does. For Generations we were made to follow this writ without opposition. Here I recall the famous matriarchial system followed by the 'Nair Tharavadu's' wherein only the children from the women folks had any stake in the property of the tharavadu. No offspring of a male member of the matriarchy was entitled for a share of the property. But alas ! here too, the head of the family was never never a woman. But the eldest male member of the family who ran the writ.
The family system has gone for a swirl and it is the nucleur family system which run the show in case of majority of households. There are exceptions depending on the economic, social and cultural characteristics of particular regions and social groups.
Coming back to Jesus, my unanswered questions are not circling me. I have fullest gratitude to him for keeping me safe in his hands.
But my question is for the ones who are deprived of a few grains to fill their stomach, for those who still do not posses a cloth to cover them from cold and heat, for those who do not have a roof over their head.... the list of woeful anxieties continue... I again ask him where is his justice system, towards the currupt criminals, who run the world, the country, the church, the temple. Why he is turning blind on the cheaters of the poor, exploiters of the vulnerables.... Answer Lord...
Notwithstanding my queries, I still wonder and am astonished to watch that those so called people who are abundantly blessed by him spare little time for praising him... whereas the one- time mealer make it a point that he attend the sunday mass, hold family prayer in the evening etc. etc. Is it because you have given them a straw by saying " those who starve (in the heart) are lucky for theirs is the heavenly kingdom".
I viewed a LaBL team addressing a gathering of villagers, wherein the LaBL bosses(two of them) , one of them even corss legged were promptly chaired while the villagers, elderly people, ladies and kids squat in the muddy filed attending. They should have shared their seats. What a social emancipation. The villagers can now have lantern for free but also dream of going to the city to be like one of them ? A village emancipation program... In bolywood (what is that ?) movies all villagers are good, beatiful, living in havelis and great family bondages.... so the city dwellers dream of making it to the cosy village one day.
Heaven is promised... where hell is true.
Jesus' birth is being celeberated on 25th December every year. Even the church differ in confirming the date as exact. Many who celeberate Christmas do not know what exactly the day is. For them it is a merry making day to beat the winter.
But besides the controversy of his date of birth, Jesus dwell in the minds of people who believe in him as God and who love him as one of most acclaimed men. To me he is an enigma. He answers many of my queries... but I am yet to get answers to a multiple of my other anxieties. I believe, he has fairly given me everything that I have... I also truly believe that he pulled me back from many of my falls. But for him, I confess, I would have managed myself worse. The carismatic group insists that we only believe in what is said glossy about him. According to them criticising Him is a big SIN. 'You should be GOD fearing', is what they profess. This thought may have derived from our age old partriarchial system where obedience is the doctrine. The family partriarch is always right, nobody has the authority to question what he does. For Generations we were made to follow this writ without opposition. Here I recall the famous matriarchial system followed by the 'Nair Tharavadu's' wherein only the children from the women folks had any stake in the property of the tharavadu. No offspring of a male member of the matriarchy was entitled for a share of the property. But alas ! here too, the head of the family was never never a woman. But the eldest male member of the family who ran the writ.
The family system has gone for a swirl and it is the nucleur family system which run the show in case of majority of households. There are exceptions depending on the economic, social and cultural characteristics of particular regions and social groups.
Coming back to Jesus, my unanswered questions are not circling me. I have fullest gratitude to him for keeping me safe in his hands.
But my question is for the ones who are deprived of a few grains to fill their stomach, for those who still do not posses a cloth to cover them from cold and heat, for those who do not have a roof over their head.... the list of woeful anxieties continue... I again ask him where is his justice system, towards the currupt criminals, who run the world, the country, the church, the temple. Why he is turning blind on the cheaters of the poor, exploiters of the vulnerables.... Answer Lord...
Notwithstanding my queries, I still wonder and am astonished to watch that those so called people who are abundantly blessed by him spare little time for praising him... whereas the one- time mealer make it a point that he attend the sunday mass, hold family prayer in the evening etc. etc. Is it because you have given them a straw by saying " those who starve (in the heart) are lucky for theirs is the heavenly kingdom".
I viewed a LaBL team addressing a gathering of villagers, wherein the LaBL bosses(two of them) , one of them even corss legged were promptly chaired while the villagers, elderly people, ladies and kids squat in the muddy filed attending. They should have shared their seats. What a social emancipation. The villagers can now have lantern for free but also dream of going to the city to be like one of them ? A village emancipation program... In bolywood (what is that ?) movies all villagers are good, beatiful, living in havelis and great family bondages.... so the city dwellers dream of making it to the cosy village one day.
Heaven is promised... where hell is true.
Friday, December 19, 2008
Advise for free
I have always been good at delivering free advises. A doctor seldome apply his own medicine on himself or his dear ones. However I have gone for one of my prescriptions, sidelining this practical thought. Those who know me closely have the outcome. So I do not feel the need to script it here. Exceptions are there in this attitude too.
What is coming before our eyes is the ones which hit us hard. This is perhaps the reason why we repent on failure of one assignment or other. This is not a right approach. We should weigh our failures and successes. While we will have a solid reason for the failures in what we have done, or what we are doing or propose to do, seldom do we go after the reason for our success in some other ventures.
Like one can not get back the stone one has thrown, it is futile to recall and munch the reason for failure. This exercise often pull one back from stepping on for the next climb. So forget the past and leap. Again, I have an adivse, please look around before you jump. This is, as usual, one of my free advises.
This apart, all advises are not free.
Doctors, Lawyers, many others make comfortable living out of advise.
What is coming before our eyes is the ones which hit us hard. This is perhaps the reason why we repent on failure of one assignment or other. This is not a right approach. We should weigh our failures and successes. While we will have a solid reason for the failures in what we have done, or what we are doing or propose to do, seldom do we go after the reason for our success in some other ventures.
Like one can not get back the stone one has thrown, it is futile to recall and munch the reason for failure. This exercise often pull one back from stepping on for the next climb. So forget the past and leap. Again, I have an adivse, please look around before you jump. This is, as usual, one of my free advises.
This apart, all advises are not free.
Doctors, Lawyers, many others make comfortable living out of advise.
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