Christmas 2008 has also passed . At home no star was hanged - a frist in perhaps 30 years. No plum cake made- perhaps a first in 25 years... A christmas night booz and dance was there.. first time of its kind.

Jesus' birth is being celeberated on 25th December every year. Even the church differ in confirming the date as exact. Many who celeberate Christmas do not know what exactly the day is. For them it is a merry making day to beat the winter.

But besides the controversy of his date of birth, Jesus dwell in the minds of people who believe in him as God and who love him as one of most acclaimed men. To me he is an enigma. He answers many of my queries... but I am yet to get answers to a multiple of my other anxieties. I believe, he has fairly given me everything that I have... I also truly believe that he pulled me back from many of my falls. But for him, I confess, I would have managed myself worse. The carismatic group insists that we only believe in what is said glossy about him. According to them criticising Him is a big SIN. 'You should be GOD fearing', is what they profess. This thought may have derived from our age old partriarchial system where obedience is the doctrine. The family partriarch is always right, nobody has the authority to question what he does. For Generations we were made to follow this writ without opposition. Here I recall the famous matriarchial system followed by the 'Nair Tharavadu's' wherein only the children from the women folks had any stake in the property of the tharavadu. No offspring of a male member of the matriarchy was entitled for a share of the property. But alas ! here too, the head of the family was never never a woman. But the eldest male member of the family who ran the writ.

The family system has gone for a swirl and it is the nucleur family system which run the show in case of majority of households. There are exceptions depending on the economic, social and cultural characteristics of particular regions and social groups.

Coming back to Jesus, my unanswered questions are not circling me. I have fullest gratitude to him for keeping me safe in his hands.

But my question is for the ones who are deprived of a few grains to fill their stomach, for those who still do not posses a cloth to cover them from cold and heat, for those who do not have a roof over their head.... the list of woeful anxieties continue... I again ask him where is his justice system, towards the currupt criminals, who run the world, the country, the church, the temple. Why he is turning blind on the cheaters of the poor, exploiters of the vulnerables.... Answer Lord...

Notwithstanding my queries, I still wonder and am astonished to watch that those so called people who are abundantly blessed by him spare little time for praising him... whereas the one- time mealer make it a point that he attend the sunday mass, hold family prayer in the evening etc. etc. Is it because you have given them a straw by saying " those who starve (in the heart) are lucky for theirs is the heavenly kingdom".

I viewed a LaBL team addressing a gathering of villagers, wherein the LaBL bosses(two of them) , one of them even corss legged were promptly chaired while the villagers, elderly people, ladies and kids squat in the muddy filed attending. They should have shared their seats. What a social emancipation. The villagers can now have lantern for free but also dream of going to the city to be like one of them ? A village emancipation program... In bolywood (what is that ?) movies all villagers are good, beatiful, living in havelis and great family bondages.... so the city dwellers dream of making it to the cosy village one day.

Heaven is promised... where hell is true.

Advise for free

I have always been good at delivering free advises. A doctor seldome apply his own medicine on himself or his dear ones. However I have gone for one of my prescriptions, sidelining this practical thought. Those who know me closely have the outcome. So I do not feel the need to script it here. Exceptions are there in this attitude too.
What is coming before our eyes is the ones which hit us hard. This is perhaps the reason why we repent on failure of one assignment or other. This is not a right approach. We should weigh our failures and successes. While we will have a solid reason for the failures in what we have done, or what we are doing or propose to do, seldom do we go after the reason for our success in some other ventures.

Like one can not get back the stone one has thrown, it is futile to recall and munch the reason for failure. This exercise often pull one back from stepping on for the next climb. So forget the past and leap. Again, I have an adivse, please look around before you jump. This is, as usual, one of my free advises.

This apart, all advises are not free.
Doctors, Lawyers, many others make comfortable living out of advise.

Victim of Displeasure - Un welcome guests

It is now almost three weeks that I have not made any musings. Not because there were less events, but preoccupation with other things.

The past three weeks were news oriented and write ups after write ups and political analysis were filled in the air for and against the Bomb Blasts in Mumbai.

However, a notable change in the attitude was visible. The Muslim community came out strongly against terrorism, condemned those who preach murder in the name of God. This is a welcome move from the community which has been victim of suspicion everytime such an incident took place in India. Notable change in the attitude was the 'Hindutva' lobby's who would not have spared the other community on such an incident, perhaps because the shadow of 'Hindu terror' doom large over their head. Any how, even the Pak authorities were quite reconciled, obviously under the American pressure. There was mud slinging in Kerala over the miserably misinterpreted ' dog show'. Silly people. The Abhaya case passed through the side lines. Three of the anointed servents of god were lodged in CBI lock up for ungodly acts. The Church yell of victimisation, cruelty, torture etc. But the upsurge they have been trying to lodge could not incite the subjects like earlier occasions. Perhaps, the Patriarchs foget that people now read, write and see the writing on the wall. OR is itn't that Abhaya's wandering cries were heard by the GOOD God and he has directed the sleeping govt machineries to act at last. We have faith in the Indian judicial system, though it is alarmingly slow. The Chruch should have not meddle with justice system. Abhaya and her family too need justice. I support Jomon for his brave stand and all he did withstanding the giant. A True David and Goliath story.

The other day we were in George kutty's House. A big mansion with all amenities in place. I was treated with mugs of beer followed by lunch with kappa, meen curri, meen peera, beef cury and chor. But above all the warmth shown by GK, Leelamma, Lego, Teddy and their kids swelled our hearts. They have not changed in spite of their being so rich. We have cut short our further visits and came home and slept.

The last three days were busy for blocking unwanted visitors from Bangalore. Baby was so tense and busy. By God's grace, Mohanachayan has agreed to take over the task. That was a great relief. I have called all my sisters and brothers wherever they are. All were politely told about my inability to accommodate them in Ernakulam. They have their displeasure, rightly so. You can not accommodate all at all times. You can not condemn their feelings too.

Chechi's children, Neema, Neena, Jenny were all elated and thrilled towards the marriage. They have demanded a pre marriage party, which we will have to plan after Christmas. Nisha's mail came and she is also taking part in the marriage. My cup of joy overflows. Wants of words, I quit.

Who is a Judge ? Who is a healer ?

The last week end would have been quite a sad, tragic one, but for that God had his plans.

When two individuals have difference of opinion, they often think of separation. An easy way out. The fall out seldom given a second thought. When a husband - wife combination quarrels, it is humane to come out with the conclusion in favour of the person who reports it, or whom we have a soft corner for. Sympathy - but this may not do justice always.

Moncy and Kunjumol have to open up themselves before each other and sort out their differences in all sense. No one else, but they themselves, can do this exercise with some success. After hearing from both of them I could gather that this couple has had no bondage of being one in spirit ever since they joined. Each one is adamant to prove his or her point and thrust upon the same on the partner without giving an iota of consideration for the other. Both have not fully broken their umbilical cord connections.

I am no judge, nor a psychologist. But learning from life, I thought it fit to advise them to reconcile their problems, sitting together and opening up. That is why I called Moncy today and gave him an elderly advise to patch up with his wife. I am confident, if he does this sincerely, he would be able to sort out his problems, their problems, I mean.

I wish them good luck.

Value of a grain of rice

When we think self centred, we will not see anything beyond the circumferance.

We have to increase our spectrum to include other things and happenings around us. That is how we open a gate for others to think. Great thinkers and professors did this. That is why we have come this far. Our thoughts need not be always correct and accurate. But it give others a link to agree or disagree and of course think.

There are two ways of thining ... one being "let me add one drop to the vast ocean"... the other is "what difference it makes with one drop in the ocean... forget it". This philosophical tip is said and repeated umpteen times by great scholars from time immemmorial.

The other day, I wrote, if Binu could plant a tree for the next generation....... there are umpteen ways of putting this thought... but why Binu only...., all of us including me should introspect in this respect.

Our children should be tought the journey of the grain from the slushy paddy filed to their bon china plate....

This is an exercise every parent should undertake while rearing their children.

Value education is not just teaching them about Ram, Jesus and Mohammad. Buto also letting them know the source of our basic necessities. This should be included in the class room syllabi also. So that when they make the country's economic plans, these section of the society, who are very often forgotten elements also included.

Wah America ! Wah !

It is not an ordinary another day. It is certainly the marking of a new era, Yes indeed ! Barak Obama has made it to the White house, the most powerful yet very hot seat in the world. It is History.

Looking at Obama's origin, it is just another feather to the great democracy, that America is, the people of America chose a man of substance over his colour and other odds.

America is certainly the greatest democracy, a living example of how democracy thrives against all odds.

Down here, we are still looking forward to 'Kings' and 'Queens' to rein us.

God save them from your wrath

Diwali is suipposed to be the season of greeings. Some exchange greetings with sweet words and some with gifts. I have received lot many sweet greetings, and I am supposed to be glad.

But two news saddened me, and gloomed over my happy time.

The first news appreared in the Hindustan Times : A seven year old boy alongwith a few others of his age group was rescued from a 'Zari' factory in Seelampur by Police. He was tutored by his employer to tell every one that his age is 14, to escape the the hand of law.What a shame ? Children under the age 7 to 13 are found there working for the 'zari' unit from 7 a.m. in the morning to 1 a.m. i.e. 18 hours at a stretch. The 7 year old fled Bihar to fetch a living for his family as he felt, it is his responsiblility, being the eleder of the family, to look after his youngsters.The saddest part is he has to wait for a year to earn a salary as he is an 'apprentice' at the moment. God knows, how many are left behind in the jammed ghettos of Seelampur and other places like this young citizen of India. God where are you ? I cannot stop my tears ?

Next news was about my youngest ' aliyan'Binu who reached home from Bangaloru early in the morning and threatended his aging mother that he will fell one or two trees to earn money, for, god only knows, what ?
That house has turned out to be a pond of leaches. Each one pull down the other for a suck of blood of his share and more. The irony is that none of them have never ever thought of planting a sapling for their next generation could also fell a tree (so painful) for a living.

God save them for they do not know what they are doing

Laughter for self

I often wonder, if the work or the worklessness which is the cause for laziness. Anyways I am getting bored. It is time to look out for a change. If I do not find change within, I will go out to fetch what I want. This is me.
I have put myself in the shoes of a politician, nob! NO match
then I put in the one of the businessman, here again, nob! doesn't fit
Shall I try that of a writer... Phoo.... hee heee heee
If you can not laugh at yourself, others will take that job.
When Swapna was born I was so delighted, for I became a parent, I jumped (literally), after Lisa's birth I realised I also became a referee.
Me and Baby argued on many things, but at the end we have decided to agree on two .
I have accepted her points......... She agreed.

Kudamaloor in the All Saints List

Kudamaloor has gained so great a name that it stands at par with 'fatima' 'Lurde' 'Assissi' etc in the Holy sea calander. Overnight, my 'Kudamaloor' became so famous. Sr. Alphonsamma has now been pronounced 'Saint Alphonsa Muttathupadathu' from 1.00 p.m. (IST)on 12th October, 2008. Indeed a Gold letter day for Kudamaloor. I believe, All those who belong to Kudamaloor rejoice on this occurance. Let us celebrate.

Bharananganam, which holds Alphonsa's holy grave, walked away with the cake by getting the maximum popularity as the epicentre of Alphonsa's pilgrimage. Neverthless, Kudamaloor proundly hold it's head for it is where this gift of God was taken birth. Here is where she was baptised, in the same baptism 'stone basin' where I was poured the holy water.

U R a Liar Bcos U r les miserable

Akanksha uttered with firm conviction " Parimita won't tell lie"

Sure, because Parimita is M Tech, Sr. fellow, holding respectable profile and she is working for the team for a longer time than u.

On the other hand

U secretary, "u r the one tend to say lie" becase u r jr, a les miserable.

Good I have once again learned that only people who aren't permitted answer back, tells lies. The voiceless, the liars.

I will keep on learning this truth.

Sorry Parimita, Sorry Akanksha

A New Lease

It was very daring. I was positioned over a sharpe edged sword. For a moment, That old frined of mine, the smart idiot, cried out to kick the sharp edge of the sword. But my other(invisible) friend,whom I have listended to the minimum, the one who always protected me from hard falls, pulled me back. He wispered, don't jump, hold on, cool... he went on and I gave him my ear and my mind. That made the difference. What I said today, might (I believe) have made some impact, though they won't openly show it. They have their own compulsions too for that. I, from my side, was consicous to put the least of damaging words, which I susually do. Hope I have succeeded, though occassionally emotional outbreakes did show signs of the tight rope breaking now and then. This time that invisible friend send his aid stand beside me thru Joseph. Swapu's encouragements held me tight to stand brave and sail thru the situation.Using the word 'sorry' has it's own impact. Exactly that is what I did at the end of the heated argument. An unconditional 'sorry' was put in, on my own. That, I am sure, cetainly made the difference. Any how I have to sail thru....

A month's lease extension has been granted, which I am sure, enough for me to work on my short comings.

I have not experienced any other city than Delhi so closely. Jaipur was so comfortable. Traffic, poople, bijli every thing good. I have been to Kolkatta, several times, but have not felt much difference from Delhi. My own city Kottayam is so small, but still crowded, perhaps because of the narrow roads.

The castle of Maharani Gaytridevi on the hill top is a beuty to watch. But the carved hills in the east is a painful view.

Light at the end of the tunnel

There again a sad news, Harkishen Singh Surjit left for eternal home. The poor son of the soil of Punjab tirelessly worked for the poor of this country. With his turban on his head he served the party,so loved, nurtured and at times negotiated with class enemies for sustainment. He succeeded in the bargains ,his party lost. Poor became poorer. AKG and EMS- both his contemporories left before him. Their dream of socialist order skipped path. Not only in India, but elsewhere too. Communism has proved itself to be a means to end. The end is wealth.
A poor Bengali servent girl was killed in Noida last week. She was also fourteen. A fifth page, two column report. That's all. No more follow up by the media. May be her blood is thinner than Arushi's.

Poor man is struglling for one meal a day. He has to toil the whole sunny day to earn his 'roti's worth for his family of four or more. 'Sagar Ratna' charges 150 for a masala dosa. Takers are plenty. Both belongs to this country. Both are counted in crores.
Today, between 4 to 6 p.m. is solar eclipse. Sensation made by media. Hardly affects Delhi's traffic. May be we get a clearer traffic today evening.

Women in India are exploited by everybody. The media play with their tears. The religions with their superstitions. The political parties for their stupidity. Otherwise why did Sushma Swaraj, after the Ahmediabad serial bomb blast, make that untimely comment to the media which she had to mouth back later. Why does Renuka Choudhary always found with her mouth wide open in the parliament. Poor ladies do not realise that they are being used. Their image is being vamporised. Every thing is not lost. Things are becoming better.
There is light at the end of the tunnel.

Anger - Lost my Army

My anger is my own enemy. I have often lost opportunities and friends owing to anger. But my angers, to my conscience , were always right, though I lose the war and left with no army. I have decided to serve a new army with a renewed spirit. No anger, no protest, no answer back. Attitude pays. I am considered a dependable soul. But as usual very often I come back to myself. There, somewhere, a bell rings.... I have to stay on... no more running around.
The driver became a Manger- nothing wrong. In fact commendable. However, if the driver carries his alter ego with him, he will make life around him miserable.Otherwise good going.

July is coming to an end. Today it rained in Lodi Road. The morning whether was unbearably sultry. In fact, on Wednesday I carried a towel to wipe sweat.

Kawads have taken good one week. Today was the hang over. The entire GT Road was blocked by waiting trucks.
Kawads have served their purpose. They had good meals for a week. They were left with a promise to luxury in heaven. Their masters have served their purpose too. They ensured vote bank. Sants and Pandits had great days. They enjoyed the week with all they could gather.

Marx rightly said, religion is opium to minds. Religions irrespective of their colour and origin, be it Christian, Hindu, Islam or any, keep flocks within the vicious circle of their self serving rituals. The more the illiterate, the more the flab to the body of the religions. Wherever he belongs, the poor is served with the servents. The master is master.

Hunger - spare a 'roti' - Amen

Over 30 crore Indian's go to sleep partly or fully hungry. Media time and again report the huge stock of food grains, enough to feed the entire population of this country for a year, rottening in the yards, another equal quantity being eaten by rodents,not to speak of the pilferage caused by the corrupt establishment.We have a Central Ministry for Distribution of Food, State governments and a scheme of Public Distribution(PDS) through ration cards. No machinery is effective.
Hunger is the cruelest of all vices. I have been a victim. I know hunger.
I believe in Jesus, proud of being a Christian. But I do not understand why there is hunger in the world when majority of humans are church goers. People spend a fortune to visit holy places and make offerings. Reflect Jesus's sayings :
"Love your neighbour as you love yourself " - your neighbour may be hungry while you are heading for your pilgrimage.

Tell your child to spare a rotti for the hungry. Amen !

The No Clear Energy

Manmohan singh is trying to bring in nuclear' energy, to the volume of 20 thousand KW . India requires 2 lakh kw, at present statistics. With Indian conditions we should go for hydro and solar based generation, sources of which are plenty. More so, these modes do not contribute to the global warming and carbon burning as in the form of thermal based generation. Why he is not turning to these natural resources is not a mistery, as it is very clear that he wants to please the capitalists, America. The world bank and ADB are already in the potential Indian energy market through monetary support for distribution of solar lanterns, which are being manufacutered in Hongkong and China and sold in India through World Bank funding (loaning). Smart enough, the American Capitalists will launder money and reap for a long period. Poor indian villagers will be too happy with their 'solar lanterns' and continue plucking betal leafs and save the world from greenhouse emissions.
Now what will happen to the 20 thousand kw hard earned n.e.? Certainly will be utilised for the enhancement of 'reliance' s power as the energy production is open to private also. So at the cost of the nation sitting at the tomb of a nuclear bomb, the ambanis will become richer and the poor villagers' (40 crores- il-lit) dream of getting light in their villages remain dream. The BJP knows it all.
Electricity was brought to kudamaloor by late Shri R.P. Nair when he was the Chairman of the Kerala State Electricity board. His was the first multi room concrete roofed house in Kudamaloor. His beautiful daughter (classmate of Chinnamony) was married off at the age of 13. The marriage was a grand affair, I still remember. The entire village was invited irrespective of castes and all were served meals in the huge three storeyed 'Kottil' '( large pandal). The feast was another wonder of the time, with 101 items of different cuisines, unheard then.
The church was illuminated soon. 'Kedavilakku' (the ever lit lamp) and the tall candle sticks in the altar gave way to electric bulbs. Kudamaloor was slowly opening up to urbanisation. The red muddy road was 'mettled' soon with 'tar' sprinkled on the surface. The kudamaloor bridge was already a reality. Very soon came the 'Medical college' and the inflow of outsiders. The village has become home for different people from different parts. The kudamaloor school kept their rank in the SSLC from the bottom of the table year after year. I took the exam of 1968 despite Thomas sir's warning of me being a sure failure case. I took the challenge, either this time or never. Surprising (not to me) I was one of the eight in the 100 odd candidates appeared.

Day One

Where was the beginning.... I vaguely remember the days of 'Vimochana Samaram' where at age 6, clinging on Valyammachi's fingers, I marched to Kottayam immersed in a serpantine line which seemed unending. My only interest was the little girl 'friends', hanging on the 'tails' of their grandma's pudava, who were vehemently chanting slogans in praise of 'PT Chacko' and 'Mannam' (the two legandaries of Catholic-Nair caucus to oust the first democratically elected communist government ever in the world) and at their throat's seams cursing 'EMS' , 'MN" and 'Gauri' ,Communits,the 'salesmen' of satan's kingdom. The march was a clean three miles starting from Pulinchuvadu via Kudayampady, which was a strong bastion of communists and then through Varissery and Chungom(again strongholds of the 'evils'). Marching forward ascending Chalukunnu, then alongside CMS all assembled at Thakidipuram(Thirunakkara maidanam) There were herds of MSP (Malabar Special Police) who used to 'lathi charge' the 'peaceful protesters' picketting transport buses in the town. Many youngsters of Kudamaloor who were heros of the Vimochana Samaram, got beaten and occassionally arrested.
Around this period one day, before the first communion, I had committed a 'deadly sin'. I received communion without the initial confession and the 'first communion' ceremony. I had not felt any qualm in revealing my 'achievement' to my mother. My 'religious- god fearing' mother shrudded on hearing the horrondous news of a 'deadly sin' committed by her first son. She thrashed me left and right with all abusives pulled out of her vocal basket. I got a special thrashing from my father too in the evening. All those who heard this dreadful news sympathised with me for the certain punishment waiting for me after life.
Those were days of religious intensification. The anti-religion communists have dared and dreaded the church. Nuns with the strength of their canes made sure that all Catholic(christian)children follow religious rituals without fail. They conducted morning prayer at the begining of the morning session,then noon prayer before the one hour recess, again prayer at the start of the after noon session, and a concluding prayer at the end of the school hours. The safeguards never ended at 4 p.m. For the Catholics, they had to attend a 45 minutes compulsory catechism class followed by a rosary in the church which lasts till 5.30 in the evening. Exhausted... no play...hungry.... It never ended there. The Sunday school catechisms were for warning the young 'believers' that the sinful will get the horrible hell with Satan (Chekutan)ruling that kingdom with fire and snakes and all fearsome elements around, and no scope to escape. Only those with a clean chit from the church can enter the kingdom of God, where it is always cool breeze, honey and milk flowing, beautiful angels waiving hand fans, no hunger, no pain. All good people like Holy pope, Bishops, Fathers, nuns and a very few good lay men with clean habits enter. But for the believers there is a place of purification and that was the ray of hope for the ordinery mortals like me. All the idols other than the ones in catholic churches were satanic symbols and therefore forbidden to look at. Sins, heaven and hell, church and half filled stomach... that was my childhood.

Childhood was not that bad too... A lot of fun... monkey groups.. football matches... Pachakali... kilithattu kali.. Kuttiyum- kolum and group fights.In all I was either the obvious loser or the player in waiting, except in fights where I was the leader and the one gets beaten till the last as my brave co-fighters desert me amidst the fight.... I was slowly growing.
Class VII was the turning point. Till then I was one of the toppers in all subjects despite being physcially indisposed at times, with food and clothes in scarce, abuses and freqeunt whipping by parents and teachers and occassional spanks by 'friends'. Then started the agitation against 'imposition of hindi' a North Indian monster thrust upon the Southies. Many committed suicides in neighbouring Tamil Nadu in protest. The Entire South India especially Tamil Nadu and Kerala went madly in flames. The parochial Sastri era vanished the Nehruvian 'National' pride. Sastri could not visualise India beyond the hindi-land and wanted hindi to replace english. Then came the 'Ari Samaram', the fight for rice. Those were the days for the hoarders. rice socked in water were sold at exhorbitant rate to the ing poor. Greedy became richer by day while poor starved with One time meal (kanji) one time 'Kappa' and the half baked 'Orotti' made of wheat flour . Church preached and consoled the prayful empty stomachs blessed are those who starve, for theirs is the kingdom of Heaven' My classes were merged with the agitations that continued till Class X. Maths classes were never attended. English ,Social Studies along with Malayalam classes were attended. Thomas Sir ruled out my chance to get past class X.
The story continued... days of no hope.... youngsters were weary of uncertain future. Many took up extremism, drugs, hippyism... many left for big cities like Mumbi, Delhi.... Worried parents,... money in short supply... three time meal a luxury, ha! what if I could possess a terrlyn shirt.
I have passed class X. The first matriculate in the entire family. Cause for celeberation. My gradpa offered his only possession (half acre land) to make me a 'dakitar'. That was a time when joint family system has not eroded inspite of rampant povery and a very weak economy. Any how I could not, and did not go for my grandpa's 'dakitary' offer. Instead my father was broadminded enough to send me to college for a pre-degree course. I joined KE College,Mannanam enrolled 475 in ' S' batch of the 1968-70 batch. There I experienced the difference.....The rich 'Kanjirappaly' planter's hostellier sons and the non hostelliers of the local area. There was vertical gulf. I learned hard bitter lessons of life here. Two year's pre degree could not make any nostalgia. There ended my higher education.
Then it was 'Royal Technical Institute' Kottayam for Short-hand and Typewriting, the only vocational course a common 'Malayalee' pinned his hope on. Not enough memory in store. Until the next musings......